Bum Steer

Martin: Are you lost? Don't ask us for help! It's time to waste another half hour right here on Bum Steer, where the rules are very simple: the best bum steer wins - twenty-five thousand dollars! I'm Blink Martin. Our three competitors each embarked on a personal quest of misdirection, and are now present to view their results. We'll start with Morris from Greenland. Morris, how did you respond to our challenge? Morris: I went down to where the cruise ships dock and waited for a tourist who needed directions. It didn't take long before I spotted a couple pigeons: foreigners who were completely lost. I drew a map for them that led straight to oblivion. Martin: Perfect. Let's see if your plan succeeded. Roll the video. Now this is where you sent them, one of the most notorious street corners in the country for illicit activity. There's a gang of hoodlums with their backs to the camera, up to no good. And here come the helpless tourists, about to ask for help. It's looking good for you, Morris. What's this? One of the punks is inspecting your map. Now he's torn it up and has hailed a cab for them. He's giving the driver a wad of cash to pay their fare. What a nice guy. But I'm afraid this failure eliminates you from the contest, Morris. Nice try. Hugh's up next. Hugh, where did you choose to execute your plan of deception? Hugh: I went to the shopping center. Everyone gets lost in there. Sure enough, an elderly man came along and could not find his pharmacy. He said he urgently needed some kind of heart pill. So I sent him to the arcade, where the sights and sounds might aggravate his condition. Martin: Nice touch. All right, let's take a look and see what happened. Here's the arcade of which you spoke. And that must be your target wandering in, clearly in a confused state, possibly about to collapse. Once unconscious, he must remain motionless for ten seconds. Hold on, who's that gamer in the lab coat? He must be the man's pharmacist. Yes, see how they know each other? Now he's guiding the old man back to the shop. Well, so much for that prank. I'm afraid that eliminates you, too, Hugh, though we salute your effort. That just leaves Karen, who'll win by default if her bum steer is even remotely successful. Karen, where did you commit your mischief? Karen: In the parking lot outside the studio. I heard some gunshots and a thief in a ski mask ran past my space. Then a guard appeared and said that the prize money had been stolen. He asked me which way the thief went and I sent him in the wrong direction. Martin: (Seeing that the prize envelope is empty) Well done. However, instead of our usual prize of cash, I'm afraid you'll have to settle for an I.O.U.
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© 2007, 2015. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.